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Wednesday, August 31, 2016

2016-08-11 Virgin Galactic Goes to Lake Havasu!

2016-08-11 Virgin Galactic Goes to Lake Havasu!

This post already sounds way more bad-ass then it really is.  I immediately imagine rockets, boats, science, drinking, math, space, shooting stars, and beer funnels.  Well I guess for the most part, that's all true; or more accurately, all of it is mostly true.

I'm back at the lake with a whole new set of people ready to do some serious floating around.  Who is coming with?  Stephen, who is worried he can't swim, and is semi allergic to alcohol; Winni, who is also worried she can't swim and doesn't drink often; Jason and Alexis who are no strangers to the scene; and the trio of Vince, Kelly, and Miguel who apparently came to bring the heat.  


Thursday, August 11, 2016
Miles spends the afternoon with me at the office since we are leaving straight from work.  He successfully distracts everyone from working while being puppy sat by Whitney (thanks Whit!).  Around 6:30 we hit the road in typical fashion and fight our way out of LA traffic, caravan style.  Next stop, In-N-out along the 10 off of Bob Hope drive.  This is right after the windmill farm and after Cabezon.  Its the cheapest gas along the 10 that also has food and is middle ish the way to the 177.  Its also IMPOSSIBLE to remember where it is so I always have to look for it whenever giving people directions.  But since those last sentences were SO boring, here are some interesting things about In-n-out that you may not know: eat the yellow peppers, sometimes you have to ask for them, sometimes they are by the napkins.  They are there for a reason, they are good.  Ask for extra special sauce when you pick up your food.  Winni thought that 2 packets was way too much for her, she was wrong, then she was happy, because she had the special sauce... that sounds bad.  Basically its just thousand island. Lastly, you can get a Neapolitan milkshake, or better yet, you can get JUST vanilla and strawberry.  These are gifts I bestow upon you, because Animal Style is old hat, along with slap bracelets and smart phones that are smaller than my dog.

Enough about food, let's get on with the trip!  But first...  You know when you go on long drives with people you're just getting to know, you usually take that time to talk in the car?  That is what we did, and Winni decided to school us on Fan-Doms.  Basically, its a collection of people who are super fanatic about a tv show, or movie, or any set of characters.  For instance, star wars, star trek, harry potter, any anime, dragonball Z all have HUGE Fan-Doms.  A major part of these Fan-Doms are original stories created by the users called Fan-Fics (Fan Fiction).  These stories are about interactions, scenarios, or stories between characters from the show/movie that the fans want to see played out, so they just write it out themselves.  Sometimes they even mix characters from different stories.  These Fan-Fics can be just a couple sentences or they can be multi-volume books.  Can you guess what most of these Fan-Fics are about?  You guess it, sex.  Can you guess THE most popular character to write Fan-Fics about?  Harry, m-effing, Potter.  LOL.  On just one Fan-Dom website there are over 750,000 Fan-Fics about Harry Potter.  Thats three-quarters of ONE MILLION!  Can you guess who they wrote in with Harry the most?  Malfoy!  Dude people... you've got to be kidding me.  LOL.  So yeah, that's Winni!  Haha, not really but it was definitely a story that I wasn't going to get at a work lunch.

Around midnight or so, we arrived at our Airbnb, a 4 bd 4 bath that sleeps 6 and has a pool.  All of that is awesome except that the effing AC was off and the inside of the house was a wonderful 99 degrees.  I don't think I've even seen a house thermostat go that high before.  No worries, into the pool we go while the house attempts to cool down.  Even better, the Perseid meteor shower was supposed to peak that night and be the largest shower in the last 10 years.  What better place to watch it than in Lake Havasu where the sky is super dark at night.  So put it together now: pool, drinks, meteor showers, inflatable floaty thing, shooting stars, hyper dog in the pool, satellites, and music.  Yeah, I told you most of it is totally true; or was it all of it is mostly true.

Friday, August 12, 2016

After a rather warm night in the house, we rise and shine for sausage and pancakes followed quickly by Jameson and Ginger Ale.  We hit the lake around noon and thanks to Steven's help, we had dropped the boat into a slip early that morning and were able to just jump in the boat, get gas, get everyone situated, cool down the seats, ice down the beer, strip off some clothes, and THEN get going.  But imagine if we had to launch the boat too... I'm just saying, it was a good call.  

We take the traditional mosey on through the channel and have Miles get the attention of every boat in the channel, though I'm sure it also helped that our boat wasn't full of guys, flip a U-turn under the bridge and hit the train horn for the oh-so-satisfying echo (echo -echo - echo).  On our way out of Thompson Bay, Jason asks for the wheel and I give him the quick run down and hope for the best.  Luckily, Jason is pretty much sober, and understands the concept of bumps and speed, and he get us all the way to Steamboat Cove without any issues.  Oh except for the part where I was taking pictures instead of paying attention and didn't tell him to stay away from the shore, where there's rocks, that bend propellers, specifically my propeller.  Probably should've taken a picture of it and shown it to you, also I probably shouldn't have eaten the 2.5 week old extra spicy eggplant thai dish either, but I digress.  After a brief freak out, and checking the boat for leaks indicating a cracked hull, I called it good and we proceeded to setup shop in Steamboat Cove.

Now finally to some pictures... 







Steven, if this picture doesn't get you at least 6 dates, you're doing something wrong.










So a note about this first float... Winni had almost no problem acclimating to floating on a noodle.  However, Steven took to floating like a moth to a flame, if that flame was made out of a bunch of other moths that went to school with the first moth and made fun of that moth for being socially awkward and getting kicked out of band camp.  Huh?  What? Yeah, Steven was asking for more noodles like seconds at Hakata Ramen.  I finally had to calm him down with some soothing sounds of "Stop freaking out dude, you're fine."  Call me Morpheus, I speak the truth.  He eventually got comfortable after a few beers but still wouldn't reduce down to the more than ample, one noodle. 

On to lunch at Havasu Springs!  I still don't get why I love the burgers there so much.  They are nothing special, but they are grilled right there on a real bbq, and I haven't had a bad one yet.  A round of big sticks and attitude adjustments turn into two, which I think turns into three.  There was a complete fail at playing shuffle board so instead we had the longest game of 8-ball pool between two teams ever.  Then people started losing focus so we decided to finish the day at Copper Canyon by way of some turns and circles on the water before getting there.  


This is where all those pictures go, if I had taken any which I didn't, so just imagine people looking happy, in water, and a wet dog.  

Instead, we fast forward to our return into Thompson Bay.  I don't know what the deal is with this next series of pictures, everyone looks... pensive.  Even Miles was thinking about whether or not he should start converting his Roth IRA into a traditional IRA to start bearing the tax implications now that he's out of work.  






Back to the house and everyone is spent from the day.  Add to that, 2+ servings of green curry and rice cooked by yours truly, and people are fading quick.  The solution... drinking games!  I'm always amazed how entertaining one game of Kings Cup can make me laugh so hard.  Also something so benign as 'everytime you drink you have to compliment someone' becomes super awkward which also means its super hilarious.  One game later, we are all back to party form and head out to BJ's for some fun with the lake townies.  Then it goes, a round of drinks for everyone, then a round of drinks for Jason, Alexis and me, then a round of drinks for just Jason and me, then another round for me... and Jason.  That could explain the next picture of Jason and Miles, other than Miles is trying to help Jason work out. 




At some point we leave the bar, I'm not sure why, maybe cause we were done with drinks breaking at our feet and people walking through our group over and over.  Back at the house, we are greeted with our reinforcements. Miguel, Vince and Kelly (aka K-Pow, aka Kelly Kapowski) are just getting settled in at the house so we greet them and resume our rightful places at the dinner table with a deck of cards, beer, vodka, and Jameson.  We go till 5 am.  Well most of us did, Steven was hating life most of the night, that's why he looks the way he does... like someone who is lactose intolerant ate mac and cheese, but that's not what happened, that was the next night, haha. 






Saturday, August 13, 2016

So Winni and I shared the bedroom downstairs that had a couch and a bed in it; she took the couch because it was pretty much like a king mattress for her, and I took the bed.  Miles decided to choose her as his bed buddy instead of sleeping with daddy.  I'm pretty sure he had a master plan where he would make Winni like dogs.  He even slept next to her for the entire drive home.  Anyhow, this is from the second morning.


And this, my friends, is one of the best things I saw this weekend.  Winni, and apparently Alexis, eats their fried eggs whites first, then the yolk all at once.  This reaction was soooo good that I gave her the last egg just so I could get another picture of it.  I'm pretty sure I do this same thing whenever I have foie gras.





One... More... Time...

Okay we finally have the entire crew together and we head straight to the channel do to a drive through.  The channel was nice and full and there was tons to look at.  Unfortunately, our boat couldn't catch a football thrown from the shore to save our lives.  Well what we lack in athletic skill, we make up for in loud, loud, loud music.  







After our sightseeing in the channel, I hand the wheel to Jason again and he takes us to Copper Canyon.  This time, I was sure to tell Jason to stay far away from the shore.  There's something very special about the first time you get the boat full of people on plane (riding on top of the water).  You can feel everyone's focus on that one sensation and you can see the smile on everyone's face grow.  It kinda like everyone realizes that they are on vacation at that very moment, or that everyone found a 20 dollar bill in a pair of jeans that they just put on.





So staking out a spot in Copper Canyon is an art.  You want to be right in the mix, pointing the stern of the boat towards the diving cliff, around fun people, but away from n00bs that don't know how to anchor their boat.  There was a guy from the day before who kept floating into us and he asked us to fix our anchor so we would stop floating into him, but we had two anchors in, and we weren't drifting.  Turns out, there was zero tension in his anchor, and he believe that if you had your anchor line taut, you'd pick your anchor up off the ground, which is somewhat true, but mostly not.  That's only true if you're right over your anchor, which you shouldn't be, and if there is serious wind or current.  Also, you need chain on your anchor to keep your anchor dragging on the ground, which he did not.  So, I very intelligently told him to pound sand and that we weren't going to do ish.  About 30 minutes later he was drifting into all of our neighbors, good plan there buddy.

So since it was a busy saturday in Copper Canyon and I was looking to be a part of shenanigans, we opted to tie up to a string of powerboats.  They were already bumping crazy loud music so we decided to play nice and let them rock their music.  Instead, we bust out our secret weapon: Norm, the intergalactic unicorn!  Tally hooooo!  Now lucky for these guys, I had JUST installed a cigarette lighter on the boat so that we could charge cell phones, bluetooth adapters, AND run an electric air pump.  Have you ever tried blowing up a normal sized inflatable?  Its not fun.  Even more so, have you seen those giant swan inflatables?  Now imagine that, except EVEN BIGGER!  Put that in your pipe and smoke it, as old people who used to put things in pipes and smoke them would say.

I had a really hard time taking out photos that weren't fun to look at, sooooo prepare for alot of photos. :D




















There comes a time in every drinking escapade where people have realized that they are super hungry and halt whatever they are doing to go search for food.  For us, it all happened at the same time.  Enter our lunch which I think 7 people contributed to making, cause what more fun than rolling food into burritos?  Rolling rolling food into burritos then deep frying them is the answer to that question.  Unfortunately, we did not achieve that level of deep fried fun-ness but were completely satisfied the level of fun-ness provided from the arguably healthy chicken, avocado, pesto wrap.  I thank my mom for this idea, as her breakfast to me lately has been this chicken, avocado, pesto wrap, except she adds a feta cheese which takes this chicken wrap into the realm of Italian woolen, ruffled, pleated, jewel encrusted leg coverings.  That's right my friends, its the realm of fancy pants.  This first picture pretty much shows what people feel like when they get to eat after they've been drinking.  Best. Day. Ever.  On top of that, I got a group photo!





So our tie up buddies decide that they are done with Copper Canyon for the day and are going to head up to the sandbar for some shenanigans where you can stand.  Normally, that's a pretty big time and effort commitment so I check in with the crew.  Basically it goes, 'Hey, are you guys close to done for the day or are you up for 4 more hours of playtime?'  The answer was a very enthusiastic, "Hell yeah, lets keep going!" So off to the sandbar we go... with Steven at the wheel this time.  

So since I'm not driving, I get to take pictures of everyone right?  WRONG.  I took one picture on the way out of Copper Canyon and then Steven took off like a bat outta hell.  Not just any bat, but a bat that likes to go really fast, in a boat, and that bat is Asian, and is named Steven.  I don't think Steven pulled back on the throttle once.  It was a very mixed experience on the boat; while Vince was in the back yee-hawing and telling Steven to go faster, everyone in the front of the boat was white knuckled as they got slammed around.  In the meantime, Steven was laser focused and having the time of his life behind the wheel, head tucked under the slip stream of the windsheild, crouched forward, like he was on a motorcycle, which I believe he actually thought he was on a motorcycle.  We get to the part of the lake that is wide open and that's where the nature preserve is.  There is a small part of the lake that's REALLY shallow; so shallow that birds nest on the floating debris, or land, I can't tell.  But my depth gauge reads 5.6' while we need 6' to keep from banging the prop on the bottom of the lake.  I never know what to do here except follow another v-hulled boat.  With all those things in mind, I congratulate Steven on the fastest trip from Copper Canyon ever and have him hand over the controls.  K-Pow makes a bee line to the back of the boat while Vince decides that he should replicate titanic and stand, spread eagle, at the bow of the boat.  Its hilarious and awesome until he loses his balance and goes face first into the side of the boat, then its even more hilarious and awesome.  Don't worry, he was totally fine and didn't spill a drop of beer. 


The water level this week was a little too high for proper sanbar enjoyment, but we went around to the inside of the sanbar where we ran into our friends from Copper Canyon.  We crank up the music, break out the beach ball, football, and the mini spiderman four square ball and kill 2 hours before we realize it.  HOWEVER, this time didn’t go without incident.  I know a couple people, ahem—Kelly—ahem—Alexis—ahem who almost got swept away with the current while chasing the beach ball.  Or the much more serious swampy, muddy, mucky part of the lake bottom which totally grossed out myself and Winni.  At least I wasn’t screaming… a lot… geez Winni, get it together.


We hang out at the sanbar just long enough to start our drive back as dusk settles in and the sun begins to set.  This ride back is always a super fun ride since you’ve already had a lot to drink, you’ve been in the sun all day, the water is crazy smooth, there’s a lot of scenery to look at, and you get to watch the sky change colors until its pitch black out.  Also, if you’re lucky, you’ll get to join in on a flock of birds and fly with them, kinda.  Well really we just chased them with the boat.






We motored through the channel, dropped the boat into the slip, and piled into the car.  As soon as we got to the house, half of us retreated for showers, while the other half grabbed beers and went to the pool.  Being the super smart guy that I am, I had made dinner idiot proof and just had to throw things in the oven and I was done.  Woohoo!  Time to join the crowd in the pool.  Dinner went well with my first timer sous vide brisket, mac and cheese, and asparagus.  After that, we broke out the cards again since we were all right there at the table. Then, one by one, we fell, until there were only three of us.  At that point we decided it may be smart to not go to the bar.  Not wanting to completely break anyone one on their first trip out to Lake Havasu, I did not press people to go out a second night.  What a nice guy I am.  :p 

Sunday, August 14, 2016

The next morning left us with a small group: Vince, Winni, and myself.  The good thing about having a small group of people like this is that I can teach people how to wakeboard without boring the crap outta everyone else on the boat.  So off we go out of Thompson Bay into our wakeboarding shoulder.  It’s already past noon so the water is far from flat, but that doesn’t stop Vince from getting up on his first pull and charging the wake.  On his second pull he gets outside the wake, and on his third he’s already trying to do some jumps.  Not bad for the first time on a wakeboard, well done.  Sadly, his last wakeboard run ends like so many do, with a face full of lake slap and a throat full of lake water.  He attributes this to half the reason he had to feed the fish for a few minutes during Winni’s runs.  Such are the dangers of going hard; sometimes your body decides to autocorrect your mistakes. Winni, even though she is super tiny, on a giant wakeboard, had some trouble getting up.  We did get her out of the water a couple times, but hand fatigue definitely kept her down.  Looks like you need to do more rock climbing Winni!



We reward ourselves with papa john’s pizza, drinks in the channel and an hour or so of watching the boats go by while we float around without a care in the world.  My absolute favorite place to be on a Sunday.   






Till next season guys!  In the meantime, practice floating… Steven.